Transformation Phase 2: 100% Completed (?)
Sometimes I use 'mecha' terms in expressing my thoughts. The words seem cool enough to be heard and typed :) Well, this one is for my self-introspection use, thinking that I've developed myself this far for the last 2 years.
I remembered one time have a chat with one of SCB senior employee, an old woman in operations division. She asked me about my personal life, romance especially. I told her that I've determined to focused myself for personal development, in terms of career, for the first two years in SCB. Furthermore, I added that this time I should all-out in career progressing and personal development. I never thought about the side-effect of an excessive energy burst at that time.
It has been 6 months since my second attachment during my MT career phase. According to the program outline, I can use my optional rotation decision to move from my current unit to another one. I'm actually already happy with the unit, in terms of the learning and the job portion, however it seems that my all-out mode had impacted others within the unit intensively. I fully understand that my acts has awared the whole team members how precious their job is, yet how reckless they have done their job all this time. What troubled me most is the second part, implying a blaming game that about to come.
As an ex-full-time-theorist, I have been following my mathematical instinct in solving problem. Analyze, define, design, optimize, and implement. That's all what I've been doing this time. Apparently, there were other things that I left partly done: negotiate, delegate, coach, and other team activities. Have I never gone through such things all the time, so I left this not completely solved? Certainly, the answer is: NO.
Back in high-school, I learned how to be tough in a decision-making position. In college, I learned to coordinate, delegate, and coach my team members. But somehow, in workplace this seemed so hard to be conducted. The reason is actually simple: team activity is a two-way communication activity. When there's no exchange of ideas, the essence of the activity is already dead from the beginning. So, what's going around within the team was a highly-positioned top-down leadership, with no bottom-up feedback going around. I have tolerated such environment for quite some time, yet this time confrontation might be the best way to accelerate change for improvement.
But a strong old-fashioned eastern way of working seemed to dominate my workplace, where apparently put me in a very difficult position to survive and finish things. Holding "trainee" title in the end has difficulted me to move around doing things. I might managed to finish the assigned tasks, but could be in a longer period. My hope is almost diminished, and I decided to look for other opportunity. It hasn't been 2 years, but facing this condition makes me feel that the transformation agenda has been completed, which are: to find myself in an extreme condition for long-period and to transform myself from a theorist into a practitioner.
However, I still can't accept the fact that the transformation having such 'lost battle' end. I still wait for next week progress in my project, hopefully I still haven't broke that energy limit in current all-out mode. Let's persevere 'til the end!!
I remembered one time have a chat with one of SCB senior employee, an old woman in operations division. She asked me about my personal life, romance especially. I told her that I've determined to focused myself for personal development, in terms of career, for the first two years in SCB. Furthermore, I added that this time I should all-out in career progressing and personal development. I never thought about the side-effect of an excessive energy burst at that time.
It has been 6 months since my second attachment during my MT career phase. According to the program outline, I can use my optional rotation decision to move from my current unit to another one. I'm actually already happy with the unit, in terms of the learning and the job portion, however it seems that my all-out mode had impacted others within the unit intensively. I fully understand that my acts has awared the whole team members how precious their job is, yet how reckless they have done their job all this time. What troubled me most is the second part, implying a blaming game that about to come.
As an ex-full-time-theorist, I have been following my mathematical instinct in solving problem. Analyze, define, design, optimize, and implement. That's all what I've been doing this time. Apparently, there were other things that I left partly done: negotiate, delegate, coach, and other team activities. Have I never gone through such things all the time, so I left this not completely solved? Certainly, the answer is: NO.
Back in high-school, I learned how to be tough in a decision-making position. In college, I learned to coordinate, delegate, and coach my team members. But somehow, in workplace this seemed so hard to be conducted. The reason is actually simple: team activity is a two-way communication activity. When there's no exchange of ideas, the essence of the activity is already dead from the beginning. So, what's going around within the team was a highly-positioned top-down leadership, with no bottom-up feedback going around. I have tolerated such environment for quite some time, yet this time confrontation might be the best way to accelerate change for improvement.
But a strong old-fashioned eastern way of working seemed to dominate my workplace, where apparently put me in a very difficult position to survive and finish things. Holding "trainee" title in the end has difficulted me to move around doing things. I might managed to finish the assigned tasks, but could be in a longer period. My hope is almost diminished, and I decided to look for other opportunity. It hasn't been 2 years, but facing this condition makes me feel that the transformation agenda has been completed, which are: to find myself in an extreme condition for long-period and to transform myself from a theorist into a practitioner.
However, I still can't accept the fact that the transformation having such 'lost battle' end. I still wait for next week progress in my project, hopefully I still haven't broke that energy limit in current all-out mode. Let's persevere 'til the end!!
posted by Gior at
9:49 PM
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